Smoothing the Edges

Living in a yurt is good preparation for the close community of a larger village.

My wife and I have moved from a three bedroom house in which we each had an office into a setting where, when we are home, we can always see each other. We can both hear the same music, and when one does an activity, we both know about it, whether we are cleaning the stove (which she does often) or sitting on the sofa (a favorite choice of mine).

Bedtimes offer a particularly clear contrast. I used to go to bed near to one o'clock in the morning most nights. I could schedule my work for late morning, and the middle of the night was time for me to be by myself. Not that I used it for anything productive -- it was just me time.

Now that my (our) sofa is in our yurt, that me time has disappeared. I am reading, or writing, or playing a computer game, in the bedroom. As a result, I go to bed earlier and wake up earlier. But it requires me to find other time for myself, makes me eager to head into town for an hour or two in a cafe.

There are countless little adjustments of this kind that produce feelings of anxiety (fear) or frustration (anger) in us as we change the way we live. "I used to be able to do it this way!"

This is the challenge of community, as anyone who has lived or worked with another person surely knows. Being forced by the requirements of the job or the living situation to adjust ways of being that, up till now, have been the perfect expression of my desires and wishes creates change in me. Gracefully letting go of my old ways of doing things, while simultaneously asserting my desire for a new way that satisfies me and satisfies my wife (or work partner, etc.) is the only useful way forward. What a challenge!